Men, we need to talk about women in engineering…
The woman in this picture is Katie Bouman and she is behind the algorithm that generated the first black hole image. More about that later.
There are 3 types of men when it comes to women in engineering.
The first type thinks this is a waste of time, and intelligence is what matters the most. For them, women complain a lot that they don’t have space because they are somehow less intelligent or competent than men.
The second type of men present themselves as neutral and say they don’t care about gender, they only care about skills. Usually, the second type is the first type in disguise because they don’t want to fully open their position since it may lead to problems and backfires.
The third type of men are those who acknowledge that we live in a patriarchal society, they know that their peers push away women and minorities and treat them as inferior engineers but they keep their mouth shut.
You may be wondering about what type of men I am, I can tell you right now:
I think I’m better than the third type but I’m not.
I don’t always speak up and confront my peers, my friends, people in the community or people in the street when there is a case of sexism, misogyny and so on and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone on this group.
We recognize high profile cases of sexism when we see one, but we don’t always recognize them or we tend to look the other way when smaller cases take place. We don’t always recognize smaller aggressions, even when it might come from ourselves, and this happens frequently on shared working space, code and team with women.
I went to a small meetup called ‘women in engineer’ which is hosted by a women group within the company I work for. I wanted to hear their experience, their actions and maybe ask a thing or two.
They shared some stories that if you are a human being, you can relate. I will not share any detail about those women because the point is to make you understand their point of view.
So.. you, as a man, feel that you lack experience/expertise in your field can somehow be confused by passive behavior just because you tend to agree to more experienced peers? Some women struggle with this.
Have you ever felt the need to be the representative of a group of people just because you are one of them? Let’s say that you like orange juice. Do you feel the pressure that you, as a man that like orange juice, need to step up and represent all men that like orange juice because there are only a few men that like orange juice? Some women might feel this way when they work as engineers.
Let’s say that you are an expert in a certain technology. You devoted hours on learning and mastering your craft and you built a state of the art app/functionality. Do you fell an inside conflict that maybe you are not good enough or that you are afraid to say something stupid when you are in a room with other men that knows as much or less than you? Women may not show it, some of them have this inner voice that makes them question themselves regarding their abilities and smiles.
When you are new at a technology/task or even in a new job, do you want a more experienced man to just do the job for you because you don’t have the knowledge to do it? Do you like to be treated like a stupid child when you ask for directions or tips on how to solve a problem? Women hate this too. You may think that you are helping her but you are not. You should only give what you being asked for. If a woman asks you a step-by-step solution, you give a step-by-step solution. If she asks you a general direction that can help her out, you give her the general direction and that’s it. Women are not Fragile creatures!! They can figure out stuff on their own.
Let’s imagine that peers greet you with a really hard punch in the arm. I know that this example is stupid but this is the only way that I can think of that you might relate. Now let’s say that you don’t like this and other stupid behaviors that your men peers do to you in your workplace. This is real life and not a street rage game (or it can be.. who knows) so you come to your manager or HR manager to complain about it.
How would you feel if they tell you to ‘MAN UP’ or ‘CUT THE CRAP’ and do nothing about the issues that you are having? Guess what ‘boys’, this happens way more often than you imagine for women and because of that, women tend to stay quiet upon minor and medium aggression because they fear that they might be in a cry wolf situation. Do you need to wait until a punch in the face or get stabbed to complain and demand change? Do you think that is healthy to work in a place like that? You tell me.
No wonder that women tend to leave the field and this is NOT fake news! https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00875/full
Those scenarios are just the TIP of the iceberg of the aggressions and uncomfortable situations that women deal every day and we, MEN, ARE THE ONLY REASON they feel this way.
Women are fed up. It’s their word, not mine. They are tired of dealing with this bullshit all the time.
Some guy asked, “Do you feel tired of all those situations?” and when all the women reply together “YES”, all men in the room started to laugh. We, men, are stupid enough to not read between the lines, that women are saying that they are not just tired of all those situations, but also that they have to fight for basic stuff all the time. They are TIRED TO TEACH MEN HOW TO BEHAVE AS A HUMAN BEING ALL THE TIME.
I hope that you put your shiny armor down and understood these scenarios with an open heart, even if you somehow feel offended. And please, refrain from using the outdated ‘not every man …blablabla’ or ‘but men can also struggle with this situation’. We all know these arguments are bullshit.
The thing that made me feel horrible at the meetup was when some guy asked what do women have to do to be HEARD and her answer was really sad. She said that unfortunately, MEN only listens to other MEN… that’s how most of the things change. She was also tired of having to explain stuff all the time.
Numerous great women, regardless of their field, write and fight for feminism. They talk about those problems and more, they go to the root of the issue and base their argument on data and research, but we, the average man, don’t care about it.
I felt so ridiculous on having to write such a superficial post, just because WE don’t listen to women!
Just imagine the frustration, sadness, and wrath on not be taking seriously just because of your gender? Do you realize how stupid this is if you would not be taken seriously because of weight, your height, the color of your hair or some birthmark? But guess what? I am a man and I am here to give a man’s voice to all of what women have been saying all along!
So, as I’m trying to move away from the third type of men, I’m writing this post. I will step up and challenge my peers, friends, and family if I see mistreatment.
If men only hear what other men have to say, I’m here to remember that we need to listen to all the women that are around us.
We need to change.
If you are a manager, tell you women engineers that you are there to support them and create a safe environment so all engineers can do what they do best… BUILD STUFF.
If you are recruiting(HR, Engineer, Managers), be professional and don’t be an asshole. She is there for the job, not for you. But if you are an asshole, be a TOTAL asshole she will not lose her time with you or your stupid company.
If you are a peer, treat women as your equal, and step up if you see any kind of aggression, either micro of huge ones. Women are stronger than you think but they don’t need to fight this battle alone.
Let’s acknowledge that women can speak for themselves and encourage them to participate more in our lives and our field. We, as a species, can only move forward if we are together. Your gender, race or skin pigmentation don’t define your character, your skills or your achievements. Also, there is a lot of studies that show how diversity can improve everything.
To finish this post, I want to leave a question to you people that love memes BUT also love science and breakthrough.
If you knew the whole story and If Katie Bouman was a man, would still make fun of the ‘resolution’ of the FIRST PHOTO EVER TAKEN of a black hole?
And is this thread on Twitter… really… if fell bad that men go that low to undermine a woman awesome job.
